Managing Stress And Anxiety-The Real Key To Breaking Free
I’ve dealt with stress, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic attacks most of my life. For 20 years I was absolutely miserable because I couldn’t leave the house without being stricken with abject terror.
Now, things are different. I’ve learned the key to managing my stress and anxiety issues and I’d like to share what has worked for me. The system can really be broken down into 2 parts:
1. Learn to neutralize feelings of stress and anxiety quickly.
2. Understand that your perception of an event is what defines it for you.
Step 1, I’m sure, is where most of you are saying, “I wish! Much easier said than done, pal.” and I fully understand that position. After all, if you had said that to me 10 years ago I would’ve laughed in your face and told you how impossible such a thing is.
However, I’ve since learned how to quickly (generally under 3 minutes) and easily reduce and often eliminate feelings of stress and anxiety. It would be too long and complicated to try and explain in this post so you can learn more here.
Step 2. Your perception of an event is what defines it for you. This is, in my opinion, the real key to change. Understanding that when we get stressed out about something or feel anxiety, it’s because we are defining that event as something bad or dangerous. For instance, I had to drop out of high school because I was so panic stricken whenever I thought about even going to school, let alone actually being there (social anxiety disorder at work). But as I look back on it now, the only reason I was feeling that was is because my mind was defining school as a dangerous place.
Now I’ll be the first person to tell you that rationalizing yourself out of a fear or stressed state is no easy matter, which is why I point to step 1 of the process. If you can at least reduce those feelings of stress, fear or panic, you can begin to really look at the situation you’re in and assess it. “Am I really in danger here? Is something going to happen that is so bad my life is at stake?”
Learning to see each event as neutral and then choosing to define that event as you see fit (finding the silver lining in the rain cloud) is, in my opinion, the real trick to mastering stress and anxiety. Yes, this does require a complete change of thinking patterns. You have to stop thinking in terms of doom and gloom and start telling yourself a new story. “Maybe I did just lose my job but I know I’ll find another one soon” is much more conducive to mental well being than “I just lost my job! What am I going to do?!? I’m doomed!” Or “Ok, that was a really bad break up. I’m going to take some time to nurture myself and then I know I’ll find someone better suited to me” is much healthier than, “The only person who would ever be with me just left me! I’m so unlovable! I’ll be alone forever!”
Some may say that “looking on the bright side” is unrealistic and maybe foolish but I would counter by asking this. How helpful is it–really–to spend your time stewing in negativity? Does deciding your life is over make you get hired that much faster? Does labeling yourself unlovable and doomed to a life alone get you into a relationship any faster? Of course, not. In fact, being so negative and pessimistic actually keeps those things away from you longer. How many people who have given up on love are out there dating? How many people who have decided there is no work out there for them are putting in applications? You see how it works?
May each of you be blessed with peace and happiness,
Jason
Categories: Uncategorized | 
Tags: anxiety, manage stress, panic attacks, stress | 
No Comments »
Join The Conversation On Blog Talk Radio
If you want to break free from limiting beliefs and negative thinking, join me and my partner Tanya on our new Blog Talk Radio program Belief Busting Breakthroughs! With our 12 years of combined experience in life coaching and life design, we address every day problems and give practical, real world advice on how to overcome those problems.
Have a listen at BeliefBustingBreakthroughs
Categories: Change | Tags: blog talk radio, limiting beliefs, negative thinking | No Comments »
Changing Lives At Starbucks…One Sip At A Time
“But I’m broke” Patrick lamented as he sipped his double mocha latte.” “And you’ll stay broke as long as you think that way.” I replied. It was a Wednesday afternoon and I was engaged in my weekly ritual of meeting my brother Patrick at the local coffee shop. “You can be really sickening sometimes, you know that?” he muttered. “I mean, I know you’re into that whole change your life through your thinking stuff but c’mon. I’ve lost my job and I’m running out of money fast. I can’t sit around all day meditating and wishing for money to appear in my living room.” “Sure you can”, I joked, “You’ve got nothing else to do all day.” “You’re not helping matters, Jason”, he grumbled.
“Alright” I said, “What I told you is true. The more you focus on and worry about being laid off and not having money coming in, the more you’ll create that situation. Instead, you should try and place your attention on what you’d rather…” “How can I focus my attention on what I’d rather see when ‘BROKE’ is all I CAN see?” Patrick interrupted. “You’re going to hate this” I said with a slight smile. Patrick visibly braced himself for what he knew was coming. “As long as you choose to see ‘broke’ that’s all you will see.” “I knew you were going to say something like that. You always have an answer, don’t you?” Patrick said with a slight tone of disgust. “Usually”, I cheerily replied.
“Why can’t you just let me be miserable, Jason?” “That wouldn’t be any fun”, I quipped, “As your younger brother, it is my duty to annoy and pester you at any given opportunity. Besides, letting you stay in that state of misery isn’t going to help you get into a state of joy.” For the first time in this conversation, Patrick gave me a look of genuine interest. Could it be that he actually wanted to hear what I had to say?
“You see, Patrick, I know that, no matter what you tell me, you don’t really want to be unhappy. The problem is, you, like the majority of people in the world, have bought into the belief that if you feel bad enough long enough, it will somehow lead you to feel better.” Patrick blinked and slowly said, “What? If I feel bad enough long enough it will somehow make me feel better?” “Think about it” I said, “You feel bad right now, don’t you?” “Yeah” he nodded, “So what are you doing?” “I don’t know” he shrugged, “Well, are you doing things to make yourself feel better or are you trying to make yourself continue to feel bad, or even worse, by looking for more confirmation of how bad things really are?”
For a second, I thought Patrick had gone catatonic. He sat there staring blankly at me. Finally, his mind had processed what I just said and he responded, “Wow! I have never thought of it like that. I hate to say it but I think you might be right.” He sipped his latte again. “Here’s the thing, Patrick, if you want to be in a state of happiness, you can’t dwell in a state of unhappiness. It’s like being in New York and saying you want to be in California. As long as you’re in New York, you’re not in California.” “Well, duh” he interjected “Ok, but let me finish the point.” I replied, “You can only be in California by actually going there. The same is true about feelings. You can only be in a state of happiness by actually going there.”
Patrick nodded, “I see what you’re saying, Jason, and it makes perfect sense, it really does, but how can I get there when some part of me seems to WANT to be miserable?” “Ah, you asked a very important question. This is what can really change your life, once you understand and accept it” I said. At this point, I got up and ordered myself some coffee and a scone. A few minutes later, I returned to the table and Patrick cocked his head. “Well, you certainly know how to leave a guy in suspense.” “Yeah, I did that intentionally” I said. “Little brother, remember?” “Yeah, yeah, born to annoy me.” He chuckled. The fact that his mood had lightened enough to illicit a chuckle wasn’t lost on me and I was glad he was feeling better.
“Ok, back to what I was saying. There is a reason a part your mind wants to feel miserable. It’s a subconscious mechanism at play. Remember I told you that most people believe if they feel bad enough long enough things will get better?” “Yes” Patrick replied, “Ok, that belief is stored in your subconscious mind. Now, the thing to understand is that the mind will do just about anything to prove itself right. If you’re convinced that something is true, your mind will go out of its way to find reasons to prove that belief to you.” “Ok, I’m with you so far” Patrick said. “Good. So if you believe that feeling bad will somehow help you, your subconscious is going to do all it can to make sure you feel bad. Of course, your lack and scarcity mentalities aren’t helping things any.”
Patrick stared at me again before saying, “So what you’re saying is my subconscious mind actually wants me to be miserable and broke?” “Yes” “Because it thinks I’m better off that way?” Again, I said”Yes” “Man, that’s messed up!” “Yep!” “So what do I do about it?” “Well, you’re in luck, actually” I said, “I just made a hypnosis audio I call Become A Prosperity Magnet and it actually teaches your subconscious to attract more prosperity by helping to clear away those limiting subconscious beliefs and open yourself to a more abundant future.” “You don’t say!” Patrick had perked up considerably by now. “I do say and I’ll give it to you so you can see how well it works. Just listen to it every day and see what happens.” “You always were the generous one.” Patrick smiled.
Over the next 4 weeks, Patrick improved considerably. He found a new job that actually paid better than the one he lost and, maybe most importantly, as more prosperity found its way to him in various ways his entire outlook on life changed. He is no longer the pessimistic grouch I had known all my life. Instead, he is much more at peace with himself and life in general and maybe that is the greatest form of prosperity there is.
Jason Hundley
Categories: Change, Manifestation/LOA, subconscious mind | Tags: abundance, hypnosis, limiting beliefs, money, prosperity, self sabotge, subconscious mind, wealthy | No Comments »
Why Does Gratitude Matter?
So often we get caught up in what we don’t have that we completely overlook what we do have. We’re so focused on wanting that new car that we ignore the transportation we currently have, even if it isn’t the newest and prettiest model and even if it doesn’t run too well. We spend so much time thinking about that new raise that we become dissatisfied with our current salary. Now, wanting bigger, better and newer things isn’t bad; in fact, it’s necessary for living the most fulfilling life possible but it is equally important to take time to appreciate what is already in our lives.
Gratitude and appreciation open the doors for even more wonderful things to appear. The mechanism behind this is the Law of Attraction, which states that like vibration attracts like vibration. The feeling or vibration of gratitude tells the Law that you would like more reasons to feel grateful so it matches that by sending you more opportunities to feel that way.
The next time you find yourself obsessing over some future possibility, take the time to stop and smell the roses, as it were. Look around at what you already have and be grateful for the abundance that already exists in your life.
Jason Hundley
Categories: Manifestation/LOA, Resistance | Tags: gratitude, happiness, law of attraction, manifestation | No Comments »
How To Create Anything In Your Life
Spirit, Source, God…whatever term you prefer to use…is literally all there is. Every single thing you can see, feel, taste, hear, smell or even imagine is composed of the energy we refer to as this Source. In order to create something, Source must make it out of Itself because there is nothing else. All materials and all energy IS Source. Therefore, in order for Source to create something It must become that thing. It must take on all the attributes of it…and once that is done, this new thing has been created because the energy known as Source has transformed Itself into that new creation.
The same is true of us. If we want to create something in our lives we have to embody that thing. If you want love, you have to become love. If you want wealth and abundance you have to become wealthy and abundant. If you want a new car you have to become the owner of a new car. When I say “become” I mean take on the attributes, qualities, thoughts, feelings and attitudes of that thing. This is much more a mental exercise than a physical one. You can mentally become the owner of a new Porsche long before you ever buy one but the act of mentally becoming the owner of a new Porsche will lead you to physically owning one.
By assuming the qualities of the thing you wish to create you shift your vibration to a place of having what it is you want and, from there, The Law of Attraction must send you more reasons to feel like you have it and this will usually result in you actually having doing or being the thing you wanted to create.
Jason Hundley
Categories: Manifestation/LOA | Tags: creation, law of attraction, loa, manifestation, new age, new thought | No Comments »
Is The Universe Punishing You?
Do you sometimes get the feeling that the world has it in for you? It’s like everything that can go wrong does and you’re left honestly wondering, “Am I being punished here?” Though it can be hard to believe sometimes, the Universe isn’t punishing you; it’s giving you valuable feedback you can use to make improvements with.
The Law of Attraction matches whatever we give it and if you find yourself neck deep in a sea of negativity you can be sure it’s in direct response to a boat load of negative thinking you were projecting in the past. Is this punishment for thinking all those terrible things? If you choose to see it that way, you could certainly make a good argument in favor of punishment but maybe a more constructive perspective is that you’re being given direct feedback so you can make a choice.
If you don’t like what you see going on in your life, understand that you’re looking at a print out of the negative thoughts and feelings you had in the past. Use this understanding to make a choice to create new experiences in the future.
The negativity you see today is a result of yesterday’s negative thinking (yesterday refers to the recent past, not necessarily the day before). This is important to realize because it means you don’t need to dwell on what’s happening right now. Know that the uncomfortable things going on today are not a result of who you are today…they are a result of who you were yesterday. Take a look at what’s happening and simply say to yourself, “I can continue to react to this the way I did before and create more things to be unhappy about or I can choose to forgive myself for what I’ve created and begin, right now, creating something better.” Then choose. Which would you prefer to have a week from now? More of the negativity you see right now or a different experience? The choice and the power are yours.
Create a future worthy of you!
Jason Hundley
Categories: Manifestation/LOA | Tags: | No Comments »
Miracles Are The Natural Order Of Things
Do you remember being young and marveling at the fact that birds can fly or clouds hang suspended in mid air? You were appreciative of the lush greenness of the grass and the trees and the glow of fireflies on a summer’s night. Remember how, now matter how quickly you tried, you could never catch the light in the refrigerator go off or come on and how excited you were when you saw 6 inches of snow cover the ground? You watched in amazement as the scrapes on your knees healed themselves and, though you didn’t see it, you managed to grow another inch before school started.
Life is and always has been full of miracles. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we become habituated to the very things that captivated us as children. Our sophisticated technological world has managed to explain how these miracles occur but does that make them any less miraculous? Does understanding the biological process that allows the firefly to glow make it any less amazing that it simply has the ability to? Does knowing the aerodynamics of bird flight lessen the fact that the bird is capable of flying without understanding these principles?
Miracles happen all the time; all around us. They are the very nature of the world. In fact, I’d say that something has gone wrong if miracles don’t happen…if the grass stopped growing and the birds forgot how to fly. If the body stopped healing or the fireflies didn’t glow or the clouds stopped forming or the snow stopped falling.
If miracles are the nature of things, why do humans want to assume that the miracles stop with us? Why is it such a stretch to think that miracles can happen for you? Maybe we’ve become so preoccupied with trying to understand the process behind the miracles and trying to replicate them in a lab that we don’t even see them when they occur.
Ever been in the right place at the right time and had something really great unexpectedly happen? What about the last time you fell in love or just happened to meet someone that turned out to make a great impact in your life? Have you ever wanted something that was hard to find and you just happened to stumble across it in a place you never would’ve expected to find it? Aren’t these things miracles in their own right?
Miracles do happen in our lives all the time. We just need to open ourselves to them, recognize them as such and be thankful for them and the next thing we know life will take on a whole new light.
Miracles and Blessings,
Jason Hundley
Categories: Change, Manifestation/LOA | Tags: law of attraction, life, manifestation, miracles | 1 Comment »
The Real Secret To Success Part 2
In part 1 of this article, Jillian learned a secret that enabled her to make dramatic changes in her life rather quickly. Now get ready to find out what she discovered.
The real key to success is…congruence. Congruence means doing things that are in alignment or agreement with your goals. If we think of a train traveling down the tracks, we know that all the cars behind the train’s engine are in a straight line. What would happen, though, if one of those cars was turned sideways? All the cars behind it would smash into it, wouldn’t they? The sideways car is not congruent with the forward direction of the rest of the train.
The same can be true with us. When we decide to do something, anything at all, our thoughts, emotions and actions have to be congruent with the decision. For example, if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while and you decide to jump back in you can’t do it with negative thinking like, “All the good ones are taken” or “I hate all the games people play in the dating scene”. These thoughts are incongruent with your goal of finding someone wonderful.
At the same time, you can’t think wonderful thoughts such as, “I just know I’m going to meet the perfect man/woman for me” and feel negative, resistant feelings. A lot of times people speak very positive words but end up feeling very negative feelings at the same time. If you want to succeed, you have to feel good about the change you’ve chosen to make in your life.
Lastly, you have to act accordingly. So you’ve decided you want to find your soulmate. You imagine how wonderful it’ll be and you’re feeling good about it. One day you’re at the supermarket and you reach for the last apple. Out of nowhere, a hand reaches out for the same apple and touches yours…your eyes meet, sparks fly and this person asks you out on Saturday. Suddenly everything your mother told you about not trusting strangers comes flooding into your mind and you turn down the date. That would be a great example of incongruent behavior.
For most people, doing 2 out of the 3 isn’t too hard but they tend to find success a little more difficult to attain than they’d like. You have to be willing to go 3 for 3 if you want to draw success to you like a magnet. Make sure your thoughts, feelings and actions are aligned with your goals and you’ll be amazed at how much more easily you reach your goals.
Jason Hundley
Categories: Change, Manifestation/LOA | Tags: dreams, goals, law of attraction, manifestation, success | No Comments »
The Flower of Your Dreams
Imagine your dream as a flower that you’d like to cultivate. It must be planted, nurtured, given plenty of sunlight and water and allowed to grow. Now imagine putting that young flower in the soil and promptly stomping on it, blocking all sunlight that might reach it and placing a heavy tarp over it. This is what we tend to do with our dreams.
Why do we do this with something that means to much to us? One of the main reasons is our firm faith in the negative beliefs we have about reaching our dreams. So often, we stand in our own way and prevent the very things we want in our lives from coming to us.
Let’s say you want to marry your soulmate. That desire represents the young flower of a dream you’d like to cultivate, so you place it in the soil. You smile at it and suddenly begin thinking of all the reasons why you’re not likely to get married. “I’m too old.” You stomp on the flower. “I’m too fat.” You stomp on it again. “Nobody would want to live with me.” You drag a large piece of furniture over to block the sunlight. “I don’t want to deal with someone else’s baggage.” You lay the heavy tarp over the flower. “All my past relationships failed.” You stomp the flower again. “I might was well get used to living the rest of my life alone.”
Maybe you want more money. You place the dream flower in the soil and smile at it but then think of all the reasons that goal is unrealistic. “I don’t have the education for that.” You stomp the flower. “I’d probably have to go back to school.” You stomp it again. “I’m too old to go back to school. Plus, I don’t have the time” You block the sunlight. “I might as well just get used to living on what I make now.” You lay the heavy tarp over the flower.
Why is it so much easier to believe against the things we want than to believe in them? It almost seems as though we’d rather not have what we want. Unfortunately, most of us were told at an extremely early age that we can’t have the things we want. We’ve been told our dreams are flights of fancy. We’ve heard about how unfair and how much of a struggle life is and, since at that age, we had no other reference point to compare this information to, we accepted these ideas as truth. Once an idea is accepted the search for corroborating evidence begins. Interestingly, no matter what belief we have, positive or negative, we can find evidence to support it and we will actually go out of our way to do so. Consider this, whether you agree or disagree with what I’ve said so far, are you not searching your mind for reasons to support your position? Why aren’t you searching for evidence to support the opposite? Is it because there isn’t any…or is it because you hold so strongly to your point of view?
As long as we continue to accept our old ways of thinking, nothing will change. Question the limiting beliefs that so frequently surface when you want to fulfill a dream. A very useful question to ask is, “What do I have to believe is true in order to feel the way I do?” Using the examples given in this article, you would have to believe that no one would marry you at your age or weight or that you’re tool old to go back to school or even that you have to go to school to make more money in the first place. All of these are limiting beliefs. No matter what you want to accomplish in the world, someone has done it and if one person can do it, you can, too.
Treat your dreams like delicate flowers. Plant them, tend to them with loving care and watch them grow!
Jason Hundley
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: dreams, flower, goals, law of attraction, limiting beliefs, self sabotage, subconscious mind | No Comments »
The Heart Of The Willow: Overcoming Resistance In Life
Many times in life you meet resistance as you try to create something good in your life. This resistance can come in the form of negative people, unfavorable circumstances or a whole host of other obstacles. The key to handling resistance is, well, not to.
We are all taught to fight resistance when it appears. We believe that gathering all our strength and resources to combat the challenge is the best way to remove it. Unfortunately, however, this attitude only leads to more problems.
Since the Law of Attraction always matches what we give it, what do you think happens when you decided to fight against or resist something? You get more of it; more opportunities and reasons to fight and resist. This is very easy to see in day to day life. What happens when two people get into a disagreement? One pushes, either verbally or physically, and the second does what? Pushes back! Then what happens? The first one pushes harder and the result is what? The second one pushes even harder. This goes on and on until, eventually, they both run out of energy and, even though the struggle has ended, nothing has been accomplished. It is also very likely that when both have regained their energy they will end up in this battle again.
What you resist persists. Resistance met with resistance only leads to more resistance. Resistance met with flexibility, however, leads to resistance passing you by. There is a wonderful story told in martial arts traditions that illustrates this idea perfectly.
A Japanese doctor named Shirobei Akyama traveled to China to study Chinese wrestling. When he returned to Japan he began teaching what he had learned. His style was based on his physical strength but he found that if his opponent was stronger than he was, his techniques were useless. Over time, his students abandoned him in search of a style that was more effective.
Searching for a solution to his problem, Shirobei decided to meditate for 100 days. He kept bumping against the some problem, though- Opposing strength with strength is not a viable solution because a certain amount of strength will always be bested by a great amount.
One snowy day, Shirobei was walking by the river and the air was ringing with the sound of tree limbs snapping. He turned and watched a cherry tree that had several inches of snow piled on its limbs. As the snow accumulated, some of the limbs cracked and fell from the tree. Then he noticed a willow tree growing on the bank of the river. The willow would sag and bend under the weight of the snow until the snow slid off and then the limb would spring back into its original position. Shirobei had his answer and he created the Yoshinryu or “Heart of the Willow” school of martial arts. Its fundamental teaching is flexibility against resistance.
When you find resistance in your life, be like the willow tree and bend with it. Let the energy of the resistance pass you by. Take all the energy and emotion you would normally spend on fighting it and channel that toward the outcome you would like to see.
Jason Hundley
Categories: Manifestation/LOA, Resistance | Tags: challenges, law of attraction, life, manifestation, Resistance, willow, yoshinryu | No Comments »
